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13 April 2009 @ 11:25 pm
You're the only one who can break me down like this (4/4)  
Title: You're the only one who can break me down like this (4/4)
Author: Jenny (dazzledjem)
Pairing: Robert Pattinson / Kristen Stewart
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing.
Word Count: 2 001.
Disclaimer: Don't know them, don't own them.
Summary: “It’s like… a game I can’t win. I either miss you when you’re not here or I just want to be closer to you when you are with me.”
Note: Continuation of Japan, the last part of this story. Thank you to everyone that has read it, and thank you for all your feedback! It means so much to me. English is not my first language, so please excuse any grammar mistakes, and feedback is always appreciated.



As soon as she had got away from her agent and hurried to her room on the fourth floor and closed the door after herself, she looked down at her hand. What if she had dropped it? She had tried to be like she would be any other night, when she wasn’t carrying around a note from him. She slowly opened her hand. It was there. She let out a breath of relief, but the relief quickly disappeared and was replaced with fear of what he had actually written on it. What if he didn’t want anything to do with her, other than shooting the movie and promoting it? No, why would he? she thought and tried to calm herself down. With a nearly trembling hand, she slowly unfolded it and then read what it said.

Room 762. I’ll wait for you,” she read quietly to herself and then let out another breath of relief. It hadn’t been as bad as she had expected. Suddenly she found herself in a hurry to talk to him, or just be near him. The room she was currently in suddenly seemed too big for just her, but yet she still felt so small. She ran her hand through her hair before she slowly opened the door, peeked out to see that her agent wasn’t in sight, and then she walked towards the elevator for the second time tonight, although she was so much more excited this time.

*

He had left just after she had, because he wanted to see her again as soon as possible. He knew that he was currently playing with fire, and that she any moment could burn him. Her along with Summit, who would move heaven and earth just to keep them apart, it seemed. He was so fucking nervous. What if she didn’t even care about that ridiculous note? Maybe she had just thrown it away as soon as he hadn’t been able to see her because she didn’t want to hurt him more than she already had. He tried to think rationally. Why did she agree to sing with him? And she had given him that sign when they had been to England, something he thought about too often. He took a deep breath, and decided, even though he was still so insecure, that he would take each day as it came. If she would hurt him again, then he knew that he would be forced to move on, eventually. But he also knew that no other woman he would ever meet could even come close to her, unfortunately. No one would ever be able to infuriate him as much as she could, and no one would be able to make his heart ache like she managed to, whenever she wasn’t near him. He barely even knew what he was going to say to her if she showed up. ‘Oh, hi, I’m madly in love with, but sometimes I just feel like I want to strangle you and that I want to give up this fight for you, but I don’t know what I would to do without you and I wouldn’t know how to let you go.’ That would surely work. Or not. He was almost positive that she would laugh if he did say that. With a sigh, he sat down on the bed, realizing he was pretty much screwed.

*

Kristen held her breath when she got out of the elevator. A part of her wanted nothing more than to run away from it all, but she couldn’t because another part of her wanted to talk to him. And besides, she owed him more than to be the runaway girl. When she finally dared to exhale, she cautiously walked right to the door with the number 762 on it. Without hesitating, she knocked on it twice. It took a while, but she was positive that she could hear footsteps on the other side of the door.

He opened the door slowly, almost afraid that it was someone else than her. But there she was, in the flesh, looking beautiful as always. For a short moment, they just stood, none of them knowing what to say. After trying to calm herself down, Kristen decided to speak.

“Are you going to let me in?” she asked, hoping it wouldn’t sound too rude.

“Oh yeah. Sorry,” he mumbled and then proceeded to let her in.

“Thanks,” she mumbled before slowly sitting down on his bed while he leaned against the doorframe.

And that’s how they were for a long moment. None of them wanted to speak first, but eventually one of them would have to break the silence.

“What the fuck are we?” he whispered, looking down at his hands. He hadn’t meant to speak out loud.

“We’re Robert and Kristen,” she said quietly. “Kristen and Robert.”

“I hate that,” he said honestly.

“What?” she asked, looking up at him.

“I hate that we are… who we are,” he said slowly. “If we were just two different people, whose paths had crossed in some other way than this fucking movie… Do you realize how easy it would have been? No one would have given a damn if you dumped your boyfriend for some British guy. It would just be… you and me,” he said, but he regretted the last part when he saw the look on her face. “I’m sorry. God damn it, why do I always say too much…” he mumbled.

“No, no, it’s not that,” she said quickly. “It’s just… I was just… how damn right you are, unfortunately. I’ve wished for that so many times. To escape Hollywood and Twilight and everything that has to do with it, and just… be me. Be me with you. Be us.”

“You don’t know how good that sounds right about now,” he said with a sigh.

“It’s just this pretense, you know? Pretending that nothing has changed, pretending that… pretending that I am who I used to be before you came into my life and changed me. For the better, I think,” she mumbled. She had no idea why she was saying all of this.

“Can you see it?” he asked quietly.

“See what?” she asked, confused.

“Us… together. Despite who we are, despite Twilight… Despite everything, really.”

She didn’t answer him right away. She knew the answer. She could see them together, more than anything. But she didn’t know how to put it into words how she felt for him.

“I guess not,” he said after a moment, when she still hadn’t replied. “There are still the barriers, huh? Never mind, I’ll just…” he said, but he didn’t get a chance to finish that last sentence.

“Stop it. I was just unsure of what to say. There are no barriers tonight. I promise.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I do see us in the future. I have done that so many times before… I see us, but I don’t know how we’ll get to that point. There’s so much in our way, you know?”

“Unfortunately, I do,” he said with a sigh.

“There’s Nikki who obviously still has a thing for you…” she mumbled.

“Oh come on. Like she would even have a chance with me. Sadly, I only have eyes for one woman, it seems.”

Her cheeks turned somewhat red and she bit her lip shyly. What was with her tonight?

“Would you try to make this work?” she mumbled.

He nearly looked offended.

“I would try my hardest to make sure that I would never lose you, Kristen. Would you?” he asked, his tone a bit harsh.

“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I would.”

He nervously started biting his nails, a bad habit of his. She didn’t fail to notice.

“Stop that,” she ordered.

He stopped immediately, and she tried to hold back a small smile.

“I miss you whenever I’m not with you,” he admitted. “It’s like… a game I can’t win. I either miss you when you’re not here or I just want to be closer to you when you are with me.”

She looked at him for a moment before speaking.

“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted. “It feels like there’s so much that can be said, but at the same time it feels like it wouldn’t seem appropriate.”

“Who said we need to say anything else?” he said, looking into her eyes.

“I guess you deserve to know that I am no longer with Michael. Or well… We’re on a break. So technically, if I were to sit down beside you right now and kiss you, it wouldn’t classify as cheating,” she whispered, stuttering a little on the last part.

He raised his eyebrow.

“That hasn’t exactly stopped you before.”

“I know,” she said.

“Is there something stopping you now?”

“No.”

She slowly got off the bed and then sat down opposite him. She had missed being this close to him so badly. She never wanted to leave. He placed his hand on her cheek and she felt as if his touch would burn her.

“Don’t move,” he said, teasing her, which caused her to roll her eyes.

He moved excruciatingly slow, until his lips were nearly touching hers.

“Stay still,” he ordered.

She snorted.

“Pattinson, I swear to God, if you say another line from Twilight then I will…”

And then his lips were on hers.

*

It felt so good to kiss him again, it was something she had longed for so long to do.

In between the kisses, she tried to speak, but it was hard to even find the will to say anything.

“We have to... keep this… a secret…” she mumbled.

He pulled away. Had he misread it all? Would she go back to Michael and keep him on the side?

“What?” he asked, fearing her answer.

“Until we’re strong enough to… I just can’t handle the fans going crazy over the fact that we’re together. Not yet.”

”But you... want to be with me? Just in secret?”

She nodded.

“You though I didn’t?”

“I got scared there at first…” he admitted.

“Robert,” she whispered.

“I know I’m ridiculous for…”

“Look at me,” she ordered.

He looked up, into her eyes.

“I’m not leaving you again. I’m… I can’t even begin to explain how sorry I am for hurting you that badly. I was an idiot to think that… that I could deny what I feel for you. I see that now. And I just hope that you… forgive me, and that we together are strong enough to last. Because I really don’t want to lose you,” she whispered, trying her hardest not to let the tears fall.

He carefully wrapped his arms around her, and then pulled her closer to him.

“I’m not letting you go, Kristen. I don’t think I could, even if I wanted to. Yes, it hurt me when you were with him. A lot.”

“I’m so…” she began, but he wouldn’t let her finish.

“But it would hurt me even more to let you go.”

“Really?” she whispered.

He nodded slowly, smiling somewhat sadly.

“I wouldn’t be able to take that. I… I love you too much for that,” he whispered, almost regretting it the moment the last words had escaped through his lips.

He regretted it even more when she didn’t say anything.

“I…”

This time, she interrupted him by pressing her lips to his.

“I love you too,” she whispered to his lips.

“You… do?” he whispered, looking a little surprised, but still happy.

She nodded.

“How couldn’t I?”

And then his lips were on hers again. At some point he lifted her up into his arms and lay her down on the bed, but their lips never separated. She didn’t want to pull away, and he wouldn’t let her. Here, in a hotel room in Japan, they had each other, without anyone stopping them. And neither of them wanted to waste that opportunity before reality would come crashing down over them.

The End.
 
 
Current Location: My room
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: James Morrison & Nelly Furtado - Broken Strings
 
 
 
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
Sabrina: Loving one's selfgracejen on April 13th, 2009 09:38 pm (UTC)
Awww that was sweet and cute and hot.

Indeed, how could Kristen not love someone like Rob. How could anyone not?
dazzledjemdazzledjem on April 14th, 2009 02:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
yashi1387yashi1387 on April 13th, 2009 11:59 pm (UTC)
wow that was amazing it really makes u wonder if this is the current situation !!! i can feel a comfirmation coming really soon!! thanks the fic was amazing my friend exelent job!!
dazzledjemdazzledjem on April 14th, 2009 02:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
highvoltage11 on April 14th, 2009 05:32 am (UTC)
Aww, I love this story. Glad they got their happy ending.
dazzledjemdazzledjem on April 14th, 2009 02:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
randklove: pic#87085245randklove on April 14th, 2009 06:15 am (UTC)
Woww that was amazing, you really put your soul on it cause I feel it :)
AMAZED :D
dazzledjemdazzledjem on April 14th, 2009 02:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! :)
Yes1990yes1990 on April 14th, 2009 04:59 pm (UTC)
awww i love it. what a cute ending bb. So amazing. bb, will u write more about new moon?? I'd love that. It's been really great reading your fic. You're an amazing writer.
dazzledjemdazzledjem on April 14th, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Maybe, we'll see. :)
jojo1997: Rob!layingjojo1997 on April 18th, 2009 10:04 am (UTC)
That was great. It makes you really wonder if this does really happen. I hope Kristen does fall for Rob one day.... soon - hopefully! Thanks for sharing your fic! I loved it...
dazzledjemdazzledjem on April 18th, 2009 04:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
ourstorybookourstorybook on May 23rd, 2009 03:13 pm (UTC)
Wow.. you had me in tears. it's a really touching story.
dazzledjemdazzledjem on May 23rd, 2009 03:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
time to put on her big girl shoes.: r/k - VFbig_girl_shoes on June 18th, 2009 03:55 pm (UTC)
I finally read this whole thing and I LOVED it. ♥
dazzledjemdazzledjem on June 18th, 2009 04:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
irishpixie82irishpixie82 on June 21st, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)
Beautiful! Please add me as a friend :) I'll add you if that is okay?
dazzledjemdazzledjem on June 21st, 2009 02:02 am (UTC)
Thank you! Of course that's okay, I'll add you too. :)
eichhornj on July 9th, 2009 08:08 pm (UTC)
I just re-read this and still luv luv luv it. Whew! Thanks for sharing this with me and everyone, Cheers! Christy
pappy73pappy73 on July 12th, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC)
I LOVED this!! Finally,she admitted it to herself and him.(Even if it was in fanfic)it felt very real.Thank you so very much!!
dazzledjemdazzledjem on July 13th, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )